


I'm Not Always The Bad Guy

by Trixy4Olly



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 06:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16235834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trixy4Olly/pseuds/Trixy4Olly
Summary: Virgil isn't sure about his place with the other sides, and thinks he doesn't belong. Eventually, people start to notice.





	I'm Not Always The Bad Guy

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I don't own Sanders Sides, or anything really, but a majority of the dialogue in the story is direct quotes I've pulled from different episodes, I'm just here for Virgil's reactions to it all :)  
> If you see any mistakes please let me know! Hopefully you enjoy the story

Virgil was Thomas's anxiety. That's as simple as one could phrase it. Unfortunately, no one seemed to realize how hard he worked to keep Thomas safe. Anxiety attacks were nothing new to Virgil, and neither was being the outcast.

There were some things Virgil thought were obvious, but for the others it didn't appear so. Anxiety, nervousness, fear. All of those kept people safe, from out of harms reach. The flight or fight response to keep people from doing things that would inevitably harm them. Sometimes, Virgil conceded, he overreacted and kept Thomas from taking chances that didn't have much of a risk, such as going to a party. Yes, there were some things that could be avoided, but sometimes it just seemed easier to ignore such outings all together.

The others just didn't seem to realize how much he did to keep their host out of trouble. Everyday it was him who pressured Thomas to get out of bed, to text his friends back, to push him to finish the video he was making. All Virgil did was to make sure he was safe, out of danger, and getting stuff done.

The others....they didn't seem to agree. Everytime he showed up they tried to push him back, didn't think he deserved to be there. And maybe he didn't. Maybe he spent so much time thinking he was helping Thomas, that he deluded himself. Perhaps all he was doing was hindering their host to the point where even Logic seemed to think he was the bad guy.

He's said it before, but putting on a mysterious aura and acting rude was the easiest way to keep people on edge. It must have worked too well, because he tricked himself into believing that he was actually needed, and was keeping them all safe. Pretty stupid of him really.

When Logan, Patton, and Roman were arguing about New year's resolutions, he stepped in. He was the closest one to reality here, with Logic being a close second. The moment he showed up, everyone quieted, weather on purpose or not. He wasn't that bad, was he?

"What are you doing back here?" Roman had said.

Or maybe he was. With all their chaos and arguing, they needed someone to point out the reality of the situation. And besides, with Thomas starting to feel anxious with the other three talking over each other, there was no way he couldn't come. It was his job, after all.

"All these emotions and thoughts and complete turmoil? How could I not show up at this party?" He quipped back, not one to miss a snarky comeback.

"Unbelievable. This was totally supposed to be my video." Logic spoke.  
Didn't he realize that humans needed their emotions, their hopes, and their common sense to work together? Why else would Thomas have multiple part of himself? The lack of knowledge that Logic himself had sometimes infuriated Virgil. It was Logic's job to show the understanding of their host, and somehow he manages to think he's the only one that belongs.

"Get over it. You're the least popular character, and you know it." Perhaps Virgil was overstepping his boundaries here, considering he wasn't a main, and was clearly thought of as a hindrance, but Logic needed to realize for Thomas to be happy that all three of them needed to work together.

Virgil was starting to wish that he hadn't shown up in the first place, because now they were singing. Singing about New Year's resolutions, could you believe it? He wasn't going to lie to himself, he thought it looked fun. They were putting their differences behind them, at least temporarily, to cheer up Thomas and help him think of goals he could stick to, that would help his health and make him happy. Singing was something Virgil thought was fun. He was still a part of Thomas after all.

"You sicken me. You can't always rely on a catchy tune to solve your problems."

Having fun and singing wasn't his job. His job was to worry, to show Thomas that the world could be dangerous, and to make sure he protected himself. Becoming too complacent would only hurt their host, and that wasn't what he wanted. He left before anyone could stop him. Not that anyone would. No one ever had.

* * *

 

The next time he showed himself, it was when he was tuning in to Thomas and Princy talking about Disney. That was something interesting. Disney movies were fun to watch, they resembled real life, in an odd way. They show you all the good parts, all the magical songs and lessons to teach. He preferred analyzing the movie more. They had messages people could interpret, and learn real life skills that may be relevant. Once he heard Princy say the word "atrocious" he couldn't help himself. He popped in, and spoke.

"Did someone say atrocious?"

"Are you kidding me? We have expelled you from the last two videos. Do you know how rude it is to interrupt a vlog?" The creative side yelled.

That hurt a bit. Neither of the other sides were here, but he had only came to talk about movies.

When he was questioned about his presence, and responded with him being a Disney fan as well, Princy had laughed. They had the same interests, and yet he was still made fun of for it?

Within each conversation Virgil had, there always seemed to be someone who was unhappy he was here. Boy was that a confidence booster. Even at the end, when he said he hadn't disagreed, and Virgil thought they had come to a slight truce, "Still don't like you." The creative side said.  
Yeah. This is why he avoided them. He may not be a good part of Thomas's personality, but he didn't want to be bad either. That wasn't the first comment, and it sure wouldn't be the last.

* * *

 

"Anxiety leave him alone, he's allowed to express his feelings."  
Thanks Patton, but what about his feelings? Stand up for Princy, it's fine if I'm alone.

Whenever he said something not pessimistic he got shocked looks, like when he mentioned positively effecting his viewers, just as Disney did for them, the look Thomas gave him was downright surprise. Apparently he couldn't have nice thoughts either, being the bad guy and all.

* * *

 

How about when Thomas when he needed help figuring out how to get a date for Valentine's? The holiday that has evolved until you just give someone you like a cheap box of chocolates and flowers? People get so caught up in finding a date that they never realize that there's no feelings between them, and inevitably just emotionally hurt each other. When he voiced his reasoning as such, Patton responded with telling him he can sit this one out. Eventually he couldn't take their rambling and decided to just tell them what should be common sense by now.

"This whole thing is pointless!"

"Yes we already know your point of view." Thomas said with exasperation.

_No Thomas, that's not what I mean. Why can't any of you understand_?

"Look all I'm saying is this is just a waste of time. Psyching yourself out over cheap tactics that have never been useful to you before, I mean seriously Thomas! In any past relationship you've ever been in haven't they always developed when you least expected them to?"

"Huh, you actually have a point."

_Do you think I just rant and make you nervous for fun? Do you think I get enjoyment in knowing I make your stomach nauseous and legs tremble for my own enjoyment? I am part of you. I feel your anxiety, because I am your anxiety. Every breakdown you've had affects me as well. I represent you. At least part of you. I don't understand how you all expect me to just...hurt you._

The others spoke, and he tried covering up what he said. "I wasn't trying to help." He forced the words out through clenched teeth. He _wanted_ to help. He oh so badly wanted to tell them what he knew, to show them he wanted to be good. But they didn't like him. They've said it before. Things haven't changed at all. He couldn't show them, or everyone could get hurt, including him. And then they all take turns saying they love each other? Yeah, no. He tried avoiding the question, but Patton caught on when he mentioned it should be an 'understood' thing. Morality could be smart when he wanted to. Unfortunate for him. Even more unfortunate was that he was right to not open up. That would never accept him.

* * *

 

"Thomas are you implying that Logic was not sound? Anxiety is the antagonist!" Oh, the mystery behind Thomas's procrastination.

"I'm not always the bad guy."

"Of course you're not big guy" Morality said.

_I'm not always the bad guy._ Could he really believe that? He says that he wants to help, but is he just... deceiving himself? Logic, the reasoning side of Thomas, and Roman, the creative side, both seem to think so. Patton, he wasn't sure about. He seemed the most accepting towards Virgil, but that might just be because they both affected Thomas's emotions.

"...there must be something else!" Logan spoke. He must have tuned out for a moment. 

"Other than me?" Said Virgil. After all, I'm the only negative one here, it seemed unlikely that anyone else could be the culprit, even if he didn't think he was the one behind Thomas's lack of motivation, something had to be, so he could be fooling himself again. He sincerely hoped not. Patton would surely think he was bad then.

Of course, then Princy accused him of being the one behind Thomas's motivation, which didn't surprise him a single bit. Only thing, was that the part where Thomas said he was nervous about filming? Roman wasn't here for that, meaning he thought it was Virgil's fault despite the fact he had no evidence to prove so. Bad guy, remember? He listened to the rest of Logic's deduction's, figuring it'd be fun to at least see out who's fault it was. 

After sinking down back into his part of the mindscape, he sat in his dark room, and try to rest as best as someone who was the embodiment of anxiety could. It would be a long night again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> New chapter will be up soon!


End file.
